This Elections, Love Votes
By Dr. Edith Guffey, MSW (she/her)
Board Chair, PFLAG National
This Election Day reminds me of that feeling on the first day of school. Reviewing the ballot, my younger self recognizes the combination of excitement and anxiety of seeing familiar faces and new ones; of reviewing a slate of opportunities and challenges — some that I might prefer to avoid, but instead gather my courage to confront to make life better.
We all probably have memories of those days, some good, others not so great. For me, early on the first day of school was always pretty unsettling. I started school back in 1958 in Kansas City, Missouri, shortly after the desegregation of schools (well, sort of). As a Black woman born in Kansas, the state at the center of Brown v. Board of Education, my early school days weren’t all that fun. I know what it can feel like to be excluded or different, to have to work to be considered equal when that should be a given. I’ve seen way too much of this in my life, in my children’s lives, and so many others.
That is why this election, I am taking my heart to the polls and making sure my love votes.
As a PFLAG mom and a grandparent, it troubles me that transgender and nonbinary people, including children and their families, are both targeted by politicians and excluded by policies. It is not lost on me that in local and statewide races, the demeaning rhetoric and platform proposals aimed at LGBTQ+ people and families echo those that once focused on Black families in other times.
I’ve heard this before. I have lived it, and frankly, it’s time to make sure these old, tired, degrading efforts are relegated to the history books. (And yes, that they are taught about in age appropriate and accurate ways.) It’s time to vote.
Memories are short, as this election demonstrates. In my own home state, the very one which bears the stain of efforts to exclude some children from the opportunity of school, the Kansas Board of Education and local school boards again teeter toward the infamy of excluding some students.
Indeed, in most small and rural communities, the most important elections affecting families are local. This is true whether you are in a place like Crawford County, Pennsylvania, where there have been more than 151 attempts to ban books from schools, or home is more like Fayetteville, North Carolina, where military and civilian neighbors experience health care differently, especially if a loved one needs gender-specific care.
As Chair of PFLAG National, an organization dedicated to supporting, educating and advocating for LGBTQ+ people and those who love them, these issues are personal to me. They are also personal to the nearly half a million members and supporters who turn to PFLAG in 350 hometowns nationwide and online each month. Our families are affected by the harmful words and actions used to divide our communities because the targets of so much of that hate are our children, our grandchildren, our friends, colleagues and loved ones. And our love votes.
To get really personal now, my adult children live in California, and my husband and I are in Kansas, but due to all the angry, hateful rhetoric about transgender people, one of my children won’t come home to visit. They tell me that they are worried about what might happen if they need health care while here — for good reason. After all, state legislators in many states have tried to weaponize something as personal as my child’s healthcare and well-being. In more than 20 states, lawmakers have voted against the public’s will to ban medically necessary gender-specific healthcare, including reproductive healthcare and gender-affirming care. I am grateful that Gov. Laura Kelly (Kan.) vetoed the latest efforts to ban these types of healthcare. Yet, what about all the state legislators who supported these bans?
Call me selfish, but I want both of my adult children to feel like they can safely visit their parents wherever we live. My love votes for my children, and all children, to have the freedom to thrive, no matter where they are and at any age.
Each of us, across race, place and gender deserves the freedom to be ourselves. Our reasons to vote in this election might be similar or not, but there is no doubt that for far too many of us, the results will affect someone we love, especially our LGBTQ+ loved ones. Let’s each cast our vote to ensure those impacts are positive and affirming for our children in their classrooms, doctor’s offices and beyond. After all, love is what unites us, drives us forward and reminds us of the power we hold to create a better future for generations to come.
From now through Election Day on November 5th, join me and PFLAG in encouraging LGBTQ+ people, parents, families and allies to make sure love votes. Send them to pflag.org/LoveVotes for more information!
To learn more about the Love Votes campaign, check your voter registration, find your sample ballot, and more, visit pflag.org/LoveVotes.
